Imagine if you will an immense three dimensional space filled with billions upon billions of little "strings", crisscrossing, intersecting, changing angles, directions etc. These strings represent a path that our lives travel upon. Now each time a string comes into contact with another is an opportunity to make a course change and join follow another string. There are a lot of people traveling on these strings. Each person's string can intersect with ours and even change direction to run parallel to our own, only sometime later to change directions and head in an entirely new direction.
Because this space is immense, making these course changes (string jumping) is sometimes more difficult than others. The closer one waits for intersection, the less life stress they will feel with the change. It may still represent a significant change in course, but the amount of stress is actually rather minimal when done correctly. Problem is, we aren't the most skilled "string travelers" and don't always time it right. Sometimes too early, sometimes we just barely make it, other times we pass it by only to realize that we are to far past and can't make the leap. Much like trying to cross multiple lanes of traffic after you realize you are about to miss your exit.
I feel this little metaphor, while imperfect represents how interpersonal relationships work. Two people, traveling on their own string, intersect. They can choose to merge, or jump from one string to the other, and continue on their journey together. Those that are traveling the same directions, the connection/transfer is easier. Those that are on more divergent strings, have a more difficult time in the transfer. Sometimes two people just wait too long and have travelled too far on their respective strings course to make the leap, and have missed their window of opportunity.
The reason I thought of this, is this. There have been a lot of people that have crossed my path. Some have changed the course of mine, while others have not. I don't really believe (at this point in my life) that there is Only One. I believe, rather, that based on the strings, their course, and when they intersect with another's, its really about choice. We do choose who we love, and we choose who we get involved with. Often times we can look back on failed relationships and say to ourselves "I see now why it didn't work out" or suddenly we notice some incompatibility that escaped our attention previously. In reality, we have simply continued on our string, growing and evolving, so of course the person you are now, is not compatible with that person that intersected your line in the past. Just as that person is not the same person and has continued to grow. Its like a 20 year old saying that they can't relate to a 12 year old. Truth is, you could… when you were closer to that age.
So, what's my point? Its choices that determine the success or failure of a relationship. That and the time in our lives when we have those opportunities to "jump strings" and travel a course together as a couple. Are we ready, did we do all that we could to prepare? Were we paying attention sufficiently?
In the case of couples who "drift apart", I think its just that they aren't paying close attention, and that you aren't actually on the same sting anymore. This is pretty common, and most people don't worry too much as long as it appears that the are close and parallel. They think it will be easy to get back together on a common string. Problem is, its only a matter of time before the gap between strings has grown to large and impossible to breach. Hence my divorce.
Of course in a cosmic sense, we could just all be in a big ball of string that some galactic kitten is just chasing around the universe/kitchen.
who really knows?
